I've twice almost gone through a burnout.
Both of the times after giving birth to a child, a few months back into work mode. This, despite the fact that my employer at that time was generally very supportive of mothers and motherhood in the work setting where I could reduce my FTE and get some time off. And despite the fact that we didn't have the pressure of continuously getting funds like NGOs do have.
Similarly, almost all my female friends who predominantly work in the social impact sector that had kids and continued working after a 6-months break, have by now arrived at least once at such a point of psychological and physical exhaustion. I would call us all representatives of the privileged, well-educated middle class in Switzerland without any major financial nor human capital barriers.
What is it that leads us mothers - particularly in the social impact sector - to this point? And how did I make the turnaround? How will I not get there again?
Endless possibilities with personal motivation
I see the main reasons as a combination of factors that - if one looks at them individually - are usually very helpful and very positively connotated. However, mix them well and keep them like that for a longer period of time, and they become toxic!
High personal motivation: I've studied and worked in this social sector field because I've always been personally very strongly committed. That gave me the strength and patience to go through a long list of internships and junior positions, of continuously finding new job opportunities and continuously studying new sub-fields.
However, sometimes I've mixed up my personal motivation and ultimately personal purpose with my work role and work goals. And that is risky and unhealthy if it is exclusively connected like this.
Ability to multitask and get a lot of things done fast: I am able to grasp and learn new complex topics fast, have the ability to switch between high-level strategic work and very detailed, operational work and know that I can multitask well. I thrive working on different interesting strands with different colleagues, and digital work tools let's you multiply this high-paced work style by a lot!
However, this has the risk of getting too extreme if it's done constantly over a period of time. It has also been shown by researchers that multi-tasking makes you less efficient and tired.
Endless opportunities as a funder: This is a specific one for those working in a funder setting. Having worked closely in and with NGOs, usually the main struggle there is getting enough funding to sustain and scale your work. In foundations, you almost always feel a bit guilty that you don't have to do this. And that you should be careful how to spend the funds. And the pressure to do as much good as you can with the dedicated budgets you get.
If you're in a mid-senior position, a highly interested person and see a lot of strategic alignments, it's very hard to say no to a new potential partnership. Because funding would in theory be available. But personal time and energy has its limits.
Artificial deadlines for accountability: I call these the artificial deadlines as philanthropic foundations don't have the pressure from parliament or funders to spend the budget before the budgetary year or the project timeline is over. Deadlines are made to move forward with strategy implementation, aligned with the board of trustee cycle. And it's a lot of work that goes into this accountability structure.
While I don't want to minimize the importance of accountability and governance within foundations, I think some of these deadlines are getting too much attention and lead to high pressure for staff.
Tendency towards perfectionism & being a pleaser: I love to do things well and think several times about my work deliverable before I see it as a final product. And I've always had a hard time to say no if I see value in it and if I see that I am technically capable of doing so.
The combination of these two traits is risky for personal well-being in a high-paced work environment.
High ambitions as a mother, partner and friend: I am well-educated and having spent quite some years on early learning, I know the importance of dedicated play time with children, of good nutrition and of social time. If ever I can, I want to do it "right" and have high quality family time.
Two full-time working parents with 2 toddlers is a very intense family combination, if one adds everyday grocery, cooking, cleaning, playing and positive parenting to the mix.
Lack of sleep: A simple but for me almost the most important factor for my well-being, I realized. In order to get any me-time, usually sleep is reduced considerably over a longer period of time when you get kids. It depends also on your child, on the frequency of its colds, coughs and nightmares that your average night is shortened considerably or interrupted several times a night. This experience can extend over years without any interruption and rest, if you happen to have a second child or a bad sleeper.
Turnaround
How did I manage to make a turnaround and get out of this spiral?
Taking a break: First of all, I had to realize that I am at a point where I had to change something. And to understand and accept the symptoms. And to take a real break from work. In my case for a few weeks was luckily enough.
Making sure I can sleep again: This was priority number one. To get my body functions working again, I focused very much on sleep. What helped me to get back to healthy sleep patterns was sport, well-dosaged medication for the emergency time and calming exercises.
Getting professional help: I looked out for help, not only a psychologist in the first few weeks, but also a coach later on after both episodes. This helped me to work in a structured way on my stress factors, on triggers and on habits that led me in a first place to these stressful situation.
Talk about it: In Switzerland at that time which was before COVID, not many people were talking about any burnouts in everyday discussions. It helped me a lot exchanging with my friends and co-workers by openly talking about my experience. To reflect about it, but also to get feedback from others and support them if they were heading into the same direction.
Learn to say no and that things can fail: I had to learn to be confident with lower than 150% quality products and deliverables, and be open for planned risk. I also had to learn to say no.
Strengthening my body through sport & healthy diet: Linked to the improved sleep, I started again to listen to my body, by regularly doing sports that I like and by eating healthy.
Ensure me-time: I increased daycare for my children so that I could have one morning every week for myself. Without children, without work. Just me. We paid for it quite a good sum of money, but it was so worth it!
Final Reflections: Turning the Tide on Burnout
Reflecting on my experiences with near-burnout as a working mother in the social impact sector, I've distilled some key insights. These all focus on what you can do as a person to prevent and act on it in a decisive manner. That's for me not the only solution - but just one key element in a much more wider set of factors that in my view need to change (such as more co-lead models, flexibility in remote work settings, financial support for childcare).
1. Early Recognition is Crucial: Learn to identify your personal red flags and act on them promptly.
2. Prioritize Offline Time: Carve out dedicated time for yourself and your family, free from work and digital distractions. Also with a pizza from the restaurant around the corner.
3. Active Time Management: Plan deliberately for both work and personal time, including self-care activities.
4. Peer Support Matters: Open conversations with friends and colleagues can provide perspective and mutual support.
5. Health is Wealth: Prioritize sleep, exercise, and a healthy diet to build resilience against stress.
6. Embrace Imperfection: Learn to say no and accept that not everything needs to be perfect.
7. Seek Help When Needed: Don't hesitate to reach out for professional support.
By implementing these strategies, we can foster a more sustainable approach to our careers and personal lives. It's challenging, especially in the social impact sector where personal motivation often blurs with professional goals. However, by recognizing our limits and actively working to create balance, we can continue to make a positive impact while safeguarding our well-being.
Preventing burnout is an ongoing process. But with awareness and consistent effort, it's possible to thrive both personally and professionally.